Jul 082018 5 Responses

Seven Careers That Are Hard on Marriage

Marriage and career are two different entities. Some people are great at one and not at the other. In most professions, marriage and career are radically separated and have a very little impact on the other. In other professions, like mine, marriage is part of the job. If my marriage were to fail, I would likely lose my job. Maybe this is a reason the pastorate is one profession where the divorce rate is lower than the average population. But in other professions, it’s much higher than normal.

Some jobs are hard on a marriage. A couple considering marriage wanted to discuss some concerns they had regarding their relationship. They had read Friends, Partners & Lovers and were concerned that their differing backgrounds might hinder their partnership. Their concerns were valid and the work they did before the wedding has the potential of saving them years of heartache. As our conversations ended, I asked a simple question–“How much time have you spent discussing being an LEO and how that will impact your marriage?” Blank faces stared back at me. Clearly, they had never considered that the man’s desire to go into law enforcement might negatively impact their marriage. I told them his career choice was a much greater threat to their relationship than differing family backgrounds and traditions.

Jobs impact every aspect of life, especially marriage. The time spent, what is experienced, how much money is made, and the temptations that are present all influence our relationships. No job guarantees divorce. But some careers do demand more awareness and energy if you want to have a successful career and a good marriage. (See: How to Keep Work from Killing Your Marriage)

7 Careers That Are Hard on Marriage

1. Police/Military. For many on the frontlines either overseas or at home, the price for their service is their marriage. The amount of suffering and evil they see hinders their ability to trust, prevents them from sharing their hearts with another, and increases the likelihood of destructive behaviors such as addictions or adultery. While divorce is not certain for someone serving, the odds are greatly increased. This should cause lay people like me to have a deeper appreciation for their service and should cause someone in the military or police to take seriously the necessary work to have a healthy marriage. Takeaway: If needed, get professional help to learn how to properly deal with trauma so that you can have intimacy with another.

2. Radiologic Technologist. This is just one example of a plethora of jobs within the medical community which can make marriage more difficult. There is something about a hospital setting which hinders healthy intimacy at home and increases the likelihood of crossing boundaries with co-workers. Maybe it’s being surrounded by smart people. It could be continual interaction with human suffering. Possibly it’s just the scrubs. Whatever the reason, adultery is more prevalent in the medical community than elsewhere. Takeaway: Be on guard at work realizing that your marriage is always under attack.  (See: Attitudes that Are Toxic in Marriage)

3. Traveling Sales. Not all sales jobs are the same. Those that demand a good amount of travel and extended time away from family bring with it unique dangers and temptations. When you have to travel for work, not only does that create unaccounted time and opportunity for poor choices, but it also puts the homemaking and parenting expectations on one spouse while you are away. This combination brings the potential for failed intimacy and breeds the opportunity for unhealthy sexual expressions. Just because someone travels with work doesn’t mean they will have an affair, but it does require an extra layer of protection if they desire to remain faithful. It’s vital for someone who travels with work to set boundaries and to be accountable to someone for how they are spending their time. Takeaway: Embrace accountability from friends who care about you and your marriage.

For the last four careers that are hard on a marriage, click HERE. You will know someone in each field.

Question: What is a specific danger to your marriage from your chosen career?

5 Responses to Seven Careers That Are Hard on Marriage
  1. […] Here is part two of 7 Careers That Are Hard On Marriage. For part one, click HERE. […]... kevinathompson.com/7-careers-hard-marriage-2
  2. Chris Young Reply

    More challenging that most mentioned.

    Restaurant Managers.

  3. Brent Graham Reply

    One that you missed that is definitely top 7 is over the road truck driver. Having the experience to work as a fleet manager for 17 years managing Long haul over the road drivers had about a 75% divorce rate. When you consider that you’re gone 2 to 4 weeks away from home at a time and then only get one day off for each week they are out you can see how this will take a toll on a spouse and family.

    • Kevin A. Thompson Reply

      Good add, brent.

    • Lisa Reply

      I pictured that in the same category as number 3: Traveling Sales

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Please enter your name, email and a comment.