Friends, Partners & Lovers

What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

Kevin A. Thompson

Book 01 · 2018

Friends, Partners & Lovers

What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

Every marriage plays three roles at once. Almost every marriage in trouble has quietly stopped playing one of them.

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Revell · 2018 · 224 pages · 978-0-8007-2811-3

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Interview Kevin on the three roles every marriage plays

Marriage is not one relationship. It is three.

The idea

Couples rarely fail at all of marriage at the same time. They fail at one part of it, slowly, and then spend years arguing about everything else.

You are friends — two people who actually enjoy each other. You are partners — two people running a household, a budget, a calendar, a family. And you are lovers — two people with a physical relationship no one else shares.

Neglect the friendship and the partnership turns into a business arrangement. Neglect the partnership and resentment does the rest. Neglect the physical and distance sets in that conversation cannot close. Name the role you have dropped and you finally know what to work on.

Inside the book

What you will actually get

  • Friends

    Why liking your spouse is not a bonus feature, and how couples stop without noticing.

  • Partners

    Dividing the work of a shared life so that neither person is quietly keeping score.

  • Lovers

    Talking about the physical relationship without shame, blame, or avoidance.

  • Diagnosis

    A way to tell which of the three has gone missing — and which one to repair first.

Who it is for

Written with these readers in mind

Couples who feel more like roommates

The affection is gone but nobody can say when it left.

Couples in premarital counseling

A framework worth having before you need it.

Small groups and marriage classes

Built to be read together and argued about out loud.

Praise

What people are saying

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For churches and groups

Reading this together

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Buying for a class, a small group, or a whole congregation? Discounted pricing is available on orders of ten or more, with direct shipping to your church.

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Companion guidebook

A session-by-session guidebook with questions for every chapter, written for couples working through the book together or a small group taking it a week at a time.

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Bring Kevin in

Kevin speaks to churches, businesses, and organizations on marriage, leadership, and living with intention.

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About the author

Kevin A. Thompson

Kevin is a teaching pastor at Bayside Church, where he oversees Married Life Ministries across nine locations in California. He is one of the more widely read voices in America on marriage and relationships.

A frequent guest on Focus on the Family and Family Life and featured in the New York Times, he holds a Master of Divinity from Beeson Divinity School at Samford University. He and his wife, Jenny, live in Auburn, California, with their two children.

More about Kevin

The rest of the shelf

Seven books, one conversation

Marriage, family, anxiety, and attachment — each book takes one piece of it. Pick the one that sounds like your week.

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