Rarely do I meet someone who is intentionally trying to ruin their life. On occasion, someone might be trying to gain attention by intentionally making bad choices. But most of the time, we ruin our lives without realizing it.
While there isn’t an easy formula to success, failure is much more predictable. Some actions are almost guaranteed to lead to destruction.
Here are 10 ways to ruin your life:
1. Assume your problems are unique. When you think your issues are unique, it excuses you from taking action. Instead of knowing everyone has problems, you can think you have been dealt a uniquely bad hand which no one can understand. Instead of learning from others and getting help, you can wallow in self-pity. Instead of finding common ground with others who have overcome obstacles, you can look for the ways they had it easier than you. (See: When You Feel What No One Else Has Ever Felt)
2. Wait for someone to help you. Just wait. Don’t act. Don’t plan. Don’t grow so weary of your situation that you have to do something. Assume your problems are supposed to be solved by someone else. Expect your parents or siblings or friends or employer or government to save you. Until the cavalry comes, just do nothing.
3. Cope with your pain in a way that adds to the pain. We all have sorrow and we all must find ways to deal with that pain. If you want to ruin your life, cope in such a way that adds to your sorrow. Find something which masks your pain–a bad relationship, an addiction, or some escape mechanism. Never get to the root causes of a situation.
4. Fixate on immediate comfort. Forget the long-road. Do whatever is easiest now. Avoid anything which might be difficult. Always take the avenue which leads to the quickest experience of ease, comfort, and peace. Avoid conflict, dodge the truth, and tell whatever lie is necessary in the moment. (See: Three Loves to Change Your Life)
5. Refuse to love others in order to protect your heart. Love hurts so you should avoid it. You’ve experienced the pain. You’ve made yourself vulnerable to others. You’ve seen the danger of opening yourself up to love. So avoid it. Go through life under the deception that you can avoid hurt by avoiding love. Never risk loving another and you will ruin your life.
6. Never learn how to use money. If you want to ruin your life, money should always be something foreign to you. Assume everyone who has it, didn’t deserve it. Believe it just comes to some and not to others. Feel powerless on how to make money, save money, and grow money. Enslave yourself to debt, spend money on assets that depreciate, and believe you are powerless regarding your finances.
7. Allow past mistakes to forever define you. You know you did it. Everyone knows you did it. No matter what you do for the rest of your life, let that past mistake(s) to define the totality of who you are. Don’t be a person who grows, moves on, or overcomes bad choices. Instead, give up and assume there is no good in the future because of something you have done in the past.
8. Ignore the important questions of life. Few things ruin our lives more than avoiding the big questions in life–Who am I? Why am I here? If there is a God, how can I know him? What is my purpose in life? What truly matters in life? Ignore these questions to ensure that you aren’t living a meaningful life. Instead of answering the tough questions, focus more on the trivial issues.
9. Refuse to forgive others (and yourself). Be demanding of others. Expect perfection from them and when they can’t meet your standard, judge them. End any relationship when someone does you wrong. Forgiveness is risky and undeserved; refuse to give it anyone–including yourself.
10. Reject gratitude and choose bitterness. Don’t focus on the good things of life. Ignore what you have. Close your eyes to beauty. Don’t recognize nature. Instead, consider what others have, dream of what would make your life better, and compare yourself to everyone around you. Let every action be tainted by your bitterness. (See: A Simple Way to Better Your Day)
The great news about this list is that not every point is required to ruin your life. Experiencing just one point is enough to have a negative influence on your life. Add two or three points and you are on track to ruin your life.
But if you don’t want to ruin your life, look at each point and avoid them. Realize the foolishness of each idea and find a better way.
This was very interesting and deep
Eye-opening. Thank you. I’m so tired and feel paralyzed by some major events/people/situations in my life–please pray God will help me avoid the things on your list and know and do what I need to.
Celebrate Recovery (CR) @ Community Bible (Thursday’s @ 5:30) helped me regain my life from these very mistakes listed. It’s been an amazing tool to help me navigate through my hurts, habits and hang-ups. For more information call 479.452.9201 or look for a CR in your community at celebraterecovery.com.
Very enlightening! Thanks so much!
A super fascinating read. I needed this. I know quite a few people who need this wisdom in their lives. Funny thing that I found when trying to help my son get motivated in life and to not settle for the waiting game. I literally found it when I googled how to ruin your life. I like the satirical nature of the piece. It is said that wisdom is easier to take with a little humor. Thank you.
Thank you Kelsi.
Excellent essay, point by point. It’s refreshing to find an advice article that isn’t one of the feel-good rah-rah pieces with which we’re inundated these days. This is a sobering and very practical set of reminders on what not to do, and if followed, an individual then has the mental freedom to figure out and choose what positive actions to take in order to shape their lives to their hopes and dreams.
Thank you, Ellen.
interesting, deep and even it helps to find out my ways.
five star to this
I’m ruining my life and I didn’t even know it…..
now i know how to ruin my life
This is exactly how I ruined my life.
I already ruined my life before even visiting this website.
thank’s for teaching me to ruin my life!
only 5 out 10 … i need to work harder
I went here to get some good things for a psycho character in a book to say but after reading it all I realised that damn this is good anti advice
Thanks for telling me how to ruin my life.i will do everything on this list because my life is already hell
If this were a checklist, I’ve scored 8/10. Thank you for writing this, Mr. Kevin. You have enlightened me to get back to my feet and actually do something about it. Have a great day.
This is the first time I’m reading this and visiting this website. I’ve done everything on this list without knowing it. Guess, my life is ruined.
I hope it will help me
Thank you
It was really helpful
I need to find ways to die now
What a silly attempt at an article. Could not reveal.mpre ignorance if you tried.
Thank u
ive done all 10