Sep 032015 5 Responses

How to Watch Football (and Stay Married)

Some women love it. Many wives hate it. (See: Why Men Run to Football and From Marriage)

Football season has returned (For all International readers, whenever I talk about football I’m talking about American football—the sport primarily played holding and throwing the ball, not kicking it. The sport in which one primarily manipulates with one’s foot, I call soccer).

Every year, more channels are added, more games are shown, and many more wives grow deeply frustrated as their husbands watch games while their wives do something productive.

While I can’t solve every problem created by the amount of time many men spend watching football, I can offer one small suggestion which could greatly influence one’s marriage.

Men, whenever you are watching football, fold the laundry.

It’s a simple task. It doesn’t take much mental effort. It can be accomplished while seated on the coach with eyes glued to the television. It is a small task which can go a long way in at least showing your wife you are doing something partially productive.

Like many men, I have been banned from doing the household laundry. Unlike many men, I did not sabotage a load of laundry on purpose. With good intention, I turned some favorite clothes a different color and was given what I assume to be a life-time ban from the washing machine. I’m allowed to move clothes into and out of the dryer, but I’m not allowed to do any activity which might include warm water and clothes of differing colors. (See: Sometimes It’s Better Not to Play)

After the clothes are washed and dried, either I get them out of the dryer or my wife removes them and brings them to the living room. Then, as I watch a game, I fold clothes. It’s an easy task which in no way takes away from the game. During timeouts, I can deposit the clothes to their appropriate rooms so each family remember can put their clothes where they want them.

That’s it. It’s not an amazing tip or technique, but it is one helpful thing men can do while wasting countless hours on a Saturday or Sunday (or Monday or Thursday or Friday). (See: The Night Which Ended My Football Career)

So guys, fold the laundry. While you are at it, halftime is a great time to clean the kitchen.

5 Responses to How to Watch Football (and Stay Married)

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