Apr 022013 0 Responses

How to Protect Your Marriage

They should laugh at you. They should talk behind your back. They should doubt the strength of your marriage. In a society where marriages are falling apart, where affairs happen every day, where a healthy marriage seems like a strange marriage, you should take steps to protect your marriage which other people find odd, offensive, even laughable.

Imagine an American soldier hiking through the mountains in Afghanistan—helmet on their head, in full uniform, finger near the trigger of their weapon. Now imagine that same soldier dressed the same way and walking the same way down the aisle of the local Wal-Mart. We would think he is suffering from PTSD. He would need help. In the same way, if he hiked through the mountains of Afghanistan in his gym shorts and an American t-shirt, we would think he was insane.

There is no need to dress for war in the midst of peace. It is unwise to dress for peace in the midst of war.

As I look at many married couples, far too many are dressed for war at home and dressed for peace outside of the home. It should be reversed.

Home should be a place of peace. It should be the place for ultimate security. In the climate of love, forgiveness, and mercy, we should be willing to let our guard down. Yet so many are so wounded, they walk into their houses with helmet on, in uniform, and their finger near the trigger. They constantly scan the horizon for danger and are quick to fight even when they aren’t in danger.

At the same time, they take off the fatigues when they leave their house. Their guard is down at work. They aren’t looking for danger at the restaurant. They are unaware they are under attack. They are sitting ducks in a war being waged for the soul of their marriage.

In order to protect our marriages, we need to dress for peace at home and dress for war everywhere else.

Dress for peace at home:

  • Be quick to listen.
  • Be quick to share a feeling before a fact.
  • Listen.
  • Seek conversation.
  • Seek service.
  • Seek any opportunity to show you are on your spouse’s team.
  • Develop a healthy sex life

Dress for war outside the home:

  • Understand the danger.
  • Beware of giving or receiving false signals.
  • Never speak negatively of your spouse before someone of the opposite sex.
  • Do not listen to those of the opposite sex speaking negatively about their spouse.
  • Never flirt.
  • Don’t showcase your personality for others, save it for home.

It’s easy for couples to forget their is a war for their marriage. As a pastor, I reminded of it every day. Rarely does 24 hours pass in which I’m not dealing with some causality of war.

It happens primarily from apathy and ignorance. Few couples seek to destroy their marriage., instead they let it slowly decay over time. They walk unaware through a battlefield and it’s only a matter of time before they suffer loss.

In a world where a bad marriage is so normal, we better act in unusual ways so we don’t suffer the same fate. Those ignorant of the battle will not understand. They will laugh, mock and question. They will claim you are a religious nut or overly-paranoid. They will mock you to justify themselves.

Jesus said, “Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness sake.” Living in a sin-soaked world, there are some actions we must take for the sake of righteousness which others will not understand. When they mock you or revile you or misunderstand your intentions, do not be discouraged. It is a sign you are taking your marriage seriously.

What do you do in order to protect your marriage which everyone else considers odd?



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