Apr 112013 2 Responses

You Don’t Have to do it on Your Own

Humility knows something pride does not: achievements accomplished together are just as valuable as those accomplished alone.

  • Whether you study alone or with a group, if you make an A on the test it’s an A.
  • Whether you stop smoking cold turkey or do it via medical intervention, you still have stopped smoking.
  • Whether the idea was solely yours or was the by-product of group-think, your company still sells the product.

Pride tells us the great lie that it means more if we do it alone. If it is MY idea, MY accomplishment, MY doing from start to finish, the outcome will be better. People will respect me more. The feeling of satisfaction will be deeper. Success will be sweeter.

But it’s not.  

The outcome is the same, and sometimes the process is lonelier, tougher, ripe with more peril.

Humility tells the truth: I don’t have to do it on my own. Neither do you.

The things which are truly worth doing are worth doing no matter how they are done. Accomplished alone or together, what really matters is that they are accomplished.

Humility knows we can almost always accomplish more together. So it doesn’t care who gets credit for the idea. It doesn’t need recognition. It doesn’t dissect every aspect to give proper due. Humility is more concerned with getting important things done than getting credit for having done something.

Pride prevents more accomplishments than anything else.

  • How many marriages stay adrift for decades because one of the spouse’s has too much pride to ask for help?
  • How many careers never reach their potential because the employee feels pressure to go it alone?
  • How many addicts continue to act out on their addiction because they won’t admit to someone they need help?

It’s all pride.

Humanity is not very good when left alone. We were created for community, for intimacy. We are complete as individuals but we thrive with others—with families, teams, communities, friends, and co-collaborators.

Pride warns us to stay by ourselves. It says we should go it alone in order to get all the glory and to fend off any threats from others. 

Humility invites us to reveal our inabilities, admit our inadequacies, and to seek help.

What dreams are left unaccomplished? What addictions are still having their way? What projects are stagnant? What personal struggles keep repeating? Is it time to get help? Is it time to stop trying to do it all by yourself? Is it time to admit you can’t figure it out?

Tell yourself the truth. You don’t have to do it on your own. Any achievement accomplished with the help of others is just as valuable as one accomplished alone. And it could be that those accomplished together are sweeter because you have someone who knows the struggle it took to experience success. 

 

 

2 Responses to You Don’t Have to do it on Your Own
  1. dennyneff Reply

    You are so right. That is where I fall, I keep telling myself and others that “I” battle against pride, “I” battle against anger, and “I” do but like the Bible says “A three stranded cord isn’t easily broken”.

    It’s difficult to walk up to someone and say “will you help me” especially in a culture where individualism is lifted to almost idol-like status. It’s also difficult because people come from an upbringings where it’s difficult trusting people.

    Seriously, how does one go about seeking someone to say “help” to? How does a person obtain a mentor? I’d like to hear you address that topic, if you haven’t already. Many people allow sin to keep them beat down… saying telling them “I’m too bad to ask so-and-so to help me”.

  2. […] 3. Be willing to hire toward your weakness. Hiring (and firing) is one of the most difficult aspects... kevinathompson.com/nick-saban-leadership-lessons

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