Nov 062014 0 Responses

A Bar, the Cleaning Lady, and a Million Thanks

Occasionally on Fridays I take a break from serious writing and post personal stories about life in the pastorate. For more on these Funny Friday posts, see: Warning–Objects in the Pulpit Often Appear Holier Than They Actually Are.

Be Careful Where You Park

One of the funniest things about the pastorate is the occasional need to look pastoral. I’m grateful that I pastor a group of people who aren’t overly concerned with my pastoral persona. I’ve long believed the main reason we video our services is because the congregation hopes I make a mistake that goes viral. However, I still feel an occasional pressure to keep up pastoral appearances.

Recently, my family was going to try a new restaurant. It’s in a strip mall so as I pulled into the parking lot, the closest parking spot to the restaurant was in front of the establishment next door. As I began to park, Jenny quickly said, “You can’t park here.” I was confused. Why couldn’t I park in front of a pet grooming shop? But then I looked more closely. Come to find out, “Happy Tails” was not a pet grooming shop, it was a bar for a specific clientele.

I drove around and found a different spot. For a pastor, the best parking spot is not always the closest spot.

The Cleaning Lady

We have a person who cleans our house every other Thursday. Between two jobs, two kids, and my full-time writing habit, the house doesn’t always get the attention it deserves.

As every woman knows and every man can’t understand, we have to clean before the cleaning lady can clean. Apparently it would be embarrassing for the cleaning lady to know our house isn’t clean.

My only concern every other Thursday is that our house looks pastorally dirty. I don’t mind our person knowing our house isn’t neat, but I want to make sure there isn’t anything non-pastoral lying around which might cause her to question my call to ministry.

Primarily I focus on two categories:

1. Underwear: while everyone knows the pastor wears underwear, there is no need for them to be seen. Each week I make sure my drawers are buried in the middle of the dirty clothes pile.gloves

2. Advertisements/Magazines: my house receives the same advertising materials as yours, but there is no need for a Victoria Secret catalogue to be on the kitchen counter when a guest comes to the house. Of course, I’m also not comfortable with it being at top of the trash can either, so I will often take all catalogues to the outside trash so they are completely unseen.

Understanding my personal paranoia regarding what the cleaning lady thinks, explains my disdain for what recently took place. I came home on a Thursday afternoon to a spotless house. I made my way to my bedroom when I noticed my nightstand. I yelled to Jenny. She rushed into the bedroom asking what was wrong.

I said, “Look. What is this? What is this doing here?”

She said, “What is wrong? So Ella left her gloves on your nightstand. She likes to pretend to be a doctor or nurse.”

I said, “Jenny, the cleaning lady was here today. She doesn’t know those are Ella’s gloves. Now she thinks I like to play doctor and nurse.”


A Million Thanks

On an unrelated note. I don’t know what constitutes something going viral, but this past week I believe I had my first viral post. My article “The Most Overlooked Characteristic of Who You Want to Marry” has topped two million views. As the reader, I don’t take your time lightly. I appreciate every opportunity you give me to speak into your life. Every like, share, +1, retweet, or forward is an act of support for which I’m grateful.

If I can ever be of any assistance to you, please let me know.

Have a great Friday.





Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Please enter your name, email and a comment.