Sep 292015 5 Responses

Four Things Wives Need to See

Men are visual. In response to the visual nature of men, I wrote the article Three Things Husbands Need to See. Wives need to understand the visual nature of men and respond accordingly.

However, women are visual as well. They may not be as visual as men, but they still have eyes. What they see greatly influences how they feel and respond. Husbands need to understand the visual nature of women and respond accordingly.

Here are four things wives need to see:

1. Hard work. Wives have a right to assume their husband will work hard. It is an expectation. While there are rightful exceptions–physical limitations, illness, difficult seasons–the general rule should apply that husbands work hard.

The mistake many men make is they work hard at work, but not at home or in their relationship. Hard work means a strong effort in multiple areas of life. If a husband is working hard at work, but not at home, chances are his wife will correctly conclude that he is lazy.

Hard work should define the man outside the home, inside the home, and within the marriage.

2. Full attention. The demands on the average husband are many. From work, to family, to social obligations, most men are just as stretched as their wives. But wives still deserve the full attention of their husbands. They can’t have it all the time. In certain seasons, it will be far less than others. But in regular amounts, husbands should drop everything and focus solely on their wives.

Full attention means:

  • looking her intently in the eye
  • listening without distractions
  • focusing on her needs and fears
  • not having a wandering eye toward other women
  • valuing her above work, kids, and hobbies
  • being passionate about her and your relationship

3. Good grooming. It’s amazing how often this topic comes up when speaking with wives. Some men wrongly conclude that women don’t care how their husbands look. They do. Yet, this doesn’t always mean they are longing for a better looking spouse. It means they want their husband to do the best with what he’s got.

While marriage does allow for a person to see us in our most vulnerable state, it does not give us permission to ignore the basic steps of making ourselves presentable. Two simple steps: don’t be gross and if she points something out, try to do your best to fix it.

We can’t avoid the decay of time on our bodies, but we can make an effort through diet, exercise, and intention to take care of ourselves. Whenever we invest in ourselves, we are also investing in our marriage.

4. Right Priorities. Wives need to see, not just hear, that they are more important than work. They need to know their husbands have properly ordered their lives. Without right priorities, wives can rightly question the intention of their husbands. But when priorities are properly aligned, most wives will do everything they can to assist their husbands in every aspect of life.

Work is important, but it doesn’t trump family. Kids deserve our full-attention, but we should never put our children before our spouses. Hobbies are good, but they should always be an addition to life and not the main focus.

It’s a false caricature to believe men are solely visual and women aren’t visual at all. Our eyes are important to both men and women. While the visual matters more to most men, it still plays a key role within the lives of women.

5 Responses to Four Things Wives Need to See
  1. […] Three things husbands need to see: (See: Four Things Wives Need to See) […]...
  2. […] That shouldn’t be. Wives should regularly smile at their husbands. There’s power in this...

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