Apr 302014 3 Responses

Do This For Your Wife

Do you feel nauseous?

What if you did? What if in the next three minutes you went from feeling just fine to having that unmistakable uneasiness that the stomach virus is coming upon you.

What would that mean for the next 24 hours? Meetings would be canceled, phone calls ignored, projects pushed to the side, nothing productive would take place in your life.

Who has time to be sick? Nobody.

Just the thought of losing 24 hours of productivity is almost enough to make me nauseous. I’m far enough behind, I can’t get more behind.

Yet sometimes it happens.

Nobody has time for it, but everyone gets sick. And everyone must accept the lost days which are spent being sick and trying to recover.

Imagine taking a day off to spend with just you and your spouse. (See: The Number One Cause of Divorce)

Who has time for that? Meetings are piling up, phone calls have to be returned, reports need to be filed, meetings held. The last thing I have time to do is skip a day of productivity. It’s bad enough when organizations force a day of training or an off-site meeting. It’s hard enough when I catch a virus. Who has time to willfully miss a full day of work?

Nobody.

Nobody has time for it, but those who are wise will recognize it needs to be done.

One day with no interruptions, no phone calls, no email, no meetings, no agendas, no goals. One day in which you and your spouse drop your kids off at school and then forget every responsibility you are supposed to have and simply have a day of fun with each other.

What could one day do for your marriage?

What conversations could you have which have never been had?

What stress could be relieved or at least ignored? What feelings could be reborn?

What connections could be formed?

If one day together has the potential of hurting your marriage, you need immediate help. (See: 13 Questions to Gauge If You Need Marriage Counseling)

If one day together has little positive influence on your relationship, you are either at a different stage of life than me or your marriage is in trouble.

But for most, one day has the potential of completely changing the climate of a marriage. It can’t save marriages which are nearly lost–those marriages require special attention and a great deal of work–but it can awaken marriages which are stagnant or it can rejuvenate marriages which are stale.

Never underestimate the possibility of one day. (See: How to Rejuvenate Your Marriage)

No one has time for such a day, but wise people understand the importance of occasionally doing what is necessary even though it feels as though they have no time to do so.

Consider: of every issue you will deal with today, how many of those issues will still be around 10 years from now? How many of today’s decisions will impact the next decade? Probably not many. However, do you hope to still be married 10 years from now?

Is it possible that the only decisions which will take place today that can be guaranteed to impact your life 10 years from now are those decisions you make regarding your family, specifically your spouse?

Clearly your job is important. Without a doubt we should take our responsibilities seriously. But I doubt there is anyone who reads this article who truly doesn’t have the time or ability to miss one day.

What if you gave your spouse one day—uninterrupted, unplanned, and without warning.

What if you forgot everything and just focused on each other for one day?

“I don’t have time for that,” some will say. (See: Playfulness–One Sign of Healthy Marriage)

“Well, then make time,” I would reply. You find a way to recover from the stomach virus, you will find a way to recover from 24 hours away with your spouse.

Men, do this for your wife.  It doesn’t have to be fancy. You don’t have to be creative. Simply skip work, take a walk, go to lunch, see a movie, talk, have sex, and spend a day with one rule—we will only spend the next eight hours focused on us. (See: 3 Types of Sex Every Married Couple Should Have)

Do this and see what happens.

 

3 Responses to Do This For Your Wife
  1. Mike Reply

    Good stuff KT

  2. Kathryn G Reply

    Good stuff, I agree, but really, with so many women working outside the home as well (either for a paycheck or volunteering at school, etc) this could be pointed at both spouses. I read it to my husband just now, who remarkably had the day off. He had a good chuckle and said he would have been happy to have been with me all day, but I was out doing other things-volunteering at school, lunch with my girl friend, etc. Maybe next month…

  3. C Reply

    I love your posts, and would share more of them if they were geared more toward spouses mutually improving marriages rather than the husband always putting in the work. I realize you are writing from the perspective of a husband, but writing as a pastor or spouse, would make the articles more relatable.

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