It’s so obvious that saying it out loud almost sounds stupid. Yet it is true. Your marriage will not change unless something changes. All of us are on a path and we will continue down that path unless a conscious choice is made and action is taken. The path we are on has been impacted by things beyond our control but is ultimately determined by the choices we have made as a couple. The state of our marriage (almost without exception) is a byproduct of the choices we have made.
If we are on a path we do not like, we have to change something. Hoping for something different or wishing for transformation will not lead to a different result. Yet making a choice and taking a concrete step to do something different holds tremendous potential for renewal.
Small Acts, Big Change
We often assume that for big changes to take place, we have to take big actions. But it’s not true. Small actions can lead to dramatically different results. A small change over an extended period of time can put us in a radically different place than had we simply continued down the same path.
I’ve written about this before, consider:
What If Your Marriage Improved by 12%
Do You Know What You Should’ve Done?
Small actions can lead to big changes. But you have to start. Without a change, nothing will change.
On a regular basis, I speak with people who aren’t in bad marriages but are in a rut. They want things to improve. They remember better times or long before better days. Yet they are doing nothing about it. So a year from now they will feel the same thing they feel today.
One Small Act
I have a suggestion for one thing that can change. It’s not a magic bullet. It won’t make a bad marriage great. But it is a concrete action that will positively influence your relationship. It can be the first of several actions that could totally transform your marriage.
Each February, Jenny and I produce the 28-Day Marriage Challenge. For each day in February, we will send a short email with a simple encouragement about marriage. It will have a quote, a brief explanation, and suggested discussion questions or action steps. A few links will be included if you want to read more on the topic.
The email is simple. It will take less than two minutes to read. Yet if you honestly take those two minutes to read it and then discuss the topic with your spouse, things will begin to change. You will discuss important issues, learn more about your spouse, reveal more about yourself, and find yourself thinking more intentionally about marriage.
It sounds so simple that it couldn’t possibly make a difference, yet every year I hear from couples who say, “things changed when we signed up for that email.” One sign-up leads to some simple email, which creates meaningful conversations, and ultimately a different marriage because of changed actions. (For a sample email, click HERE)
To sign up, fill out the form below.
All New Marriage Material
While it’s tempting to reuse pass material, once again this year the marriage challenge will have all new material. We will cover a variety of topics, but the main theme will be fear. In what ways is fear influencing your marriage. I promise you it plays a greater role than you realize.
The material will relate to my new book Fearless Families. What would happen if every decision you made in your marriage was based on love instead of fear? What if we valued trust over safety, heart over appearances, relationship over materialism, and submission over power?
Join us this February. Two minutes a day for 28 days. Invite your friends and let’s work toward better marriages.
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