Dec 312013 5 Responses

You Won’t Change Until…

…you get sick of it.

Disgusted by it. Tired of it. Willing to do whatever it takes to change it. Unwilling to keep doing the same thing. (See: What To Do Right When You’ve Already Done Wrong)

Until you get so sick of the…


bad marriage




…nothing will change.

You might make promises. You might try to do better. But meaningful change will not occur.

It takes getting to this point for one reason—until you are absolutely sick of what is happening you will be more concerned with your reputation than getting better. As long as you are more focused on perception rather than health, you will not heal.

As a pastor of a church who offers many programs to assist people change their lives, I regularly receive phone calls asking for copies of the materials those classes use. When they ask for those materials, I tell them we can mail the materials to them, but it won’t help. The people are often surprised I say that, but I explain to them:

1. Meaningful change rarely happens in isolation. We need healthy community in order to truly change. When someone seeks transformation in isolation, experience tells us it will not happen. That’s why every weight loss program, exercise program, and recovery program includes a counselor, accountability person, and/or other people who are going through the same process. We need others in order to change. Trying to change in isolation does not work.

2. Meaningful change never happens until we are willing to admit we have a problem. Many times the reason a person wants to work on an issue in private is because they are unwilling to admit their problems to others. Until they are willing to call a pastor, make an appointment with a counselor, or admit to friends that they need help, they will not get well.

recoveringEveryone has issues in their lives that they wish were different. Some go year after year with the same problem. They try to make changes. They make resolutions and promises only to fail over and over again.

Yet some people change. They get clean and sober, start working out, or make meaningful steps in their careers or families.

The difference between the two groups can often be narrowed down to one issue: those who change do so because they truly got sick and tired of their issue and they were willing to do whatever it took to change it. The others wanted to change, but were not willing to humble themselves, get help, do the work, and do what it takes to heal.

What are you tired of?

Are you weary enough to do what it takes to get better?

Who are you going to call to get help?

Are you dialing right now?

For more, watch this:

5 Responses to You Won’t Change Until…
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