Jul 082018 14 Responses

Seven Careers That Are Hard On Marriage (Part 2)

Here is part two of 7 Careers That Are Hard On Marriage. For part one, click HERE.

4. Coaching. Few people have impacted my life as much as coaches. Through sports, they teach what it means to be a man/woman, how to deal with difficulty, and the importance of character in every situation. Coaches are powerful influencers. But the job can be hard on a marriage. The primary issue with coaching is a failure to spend the proper time necessary to nourish a good relationship. It’s often easier (and more fun) to practice, watch film, or recruit rather than to have a difficult conversation with your spouse. Coaches are often expected to spend an extraordinary amount of time at the office and many others simply choose to do so. This takes a great toll on a marriage. Especially as kids are born, it’s vital for a coach to spend time with his family, yet many choose not to do so. Careers are important, but husbands and wives are more important. Takeaway: Prioritize quality and quantity time with your spouse. (See: One Thing You Must Show Your Spouse)

5. Firefighter. In many communities, firefighters not only fight fires but also are the first responders to a variety of issues. The job is unique in that it has two radically different components–moments of extreme stress and times of great freedom. Not only do firefighters occasionally get dead time at work, most of them work schedules where they are on for a few days and they are off for a few days. This creates a unique situation where they have a great amount of freedom. Some use that freedom wisely, others use it to make bad choices. Add the trauma and stress from the images they’ve seen and been involved in at work and this can create a recipe for disaster. There is also a third ingredient which often makes being a firefighter hard on marriage–a male-dominated culture. Many firehouses are male dominated and it’s a culture that does not respect women or the home. This culture often belittles men who try to honor their wives and elevates men who are demeaning toward women. These three ingredients can have a negative impact on one’s marriage. Takeaway: Surround yourself with people who value marriage and hold high expectations of themselves and you.    

6. Social Worker. Many of the helping professions have two things in common–they do great work and they are greatly underpaid. This combination can be harmful to a marriage. The emotional toll of social work is daunting. Men and women invest so much and often see little reward. The problems just continue to mount. Yet the work is worth it because every person helped is a life that is changed. The problem is that many of these jobs pay very little which adds pressure to a person’s marriage–a person who is already emotionally taxed. Money doesn’t make a marriage great, but an absence of money can be a great strain on a relationship. From the worker on the factory line to the substitute teacher, when money is tight a marriage often is hurt. Takeaway: Recognize that money pressures can negatively impact your marriage. (See: An 85-Word Money Solution)

7. Massage Therapist. Any job that involves intimacy runs the risk of hurting one’s marriage. Actors pretending to love each other can feel real emotions develop. Therapists listening and helping a person through deep struggle can get too emotionally attached. Pastors can become too involved. A massage therapist can play an important role in one’s health, but if they and/or the client aren’t careful, a healing touch can turn into a sexual touch. Physical relaxation can create an emotional connection. Intimacy is something human beings crave. Whenever our job demands that we get emotionally close to others, we must be on guard to ensure our hearts and minds stay in the proper lane. If we are naive or ill-intended, careers which tempt us to be intimate with others will cause us to cross boundaries we should not cross.  Takeaway: Draw strong boundaries regarding emotional connections with people of the opposite sex.  

Be Aware, Don’t Avoid

This post is about awareness, not avoidance. Each of these jobs is necessary for society and noble for individuals to choose. We don’t need fewer people doing these jobs, we simply need more people who are aware of the possible temptations in each career field. Every job brings unique challenges and for these seven careers, one of the unique challenges is an extra threat to relationships.

The good news is that I have friends in each of these fields who value marriage and take the jobs seriously. They understand the challenges and are taking extra precaution to guard what they value. I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend someone going into any of these fields. However, I regularly warn those in these professions that they must take extra care of their relationships if they desire to be successful both at work and at home.

14 Responses to Seven Careers That Are Hard On Marriage (Part 2)

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