Jul 262016 3 Responses

5 Things Never to Do to Your Wife in Public

There is a difference between public and private behavior. What is perfectly acceptable behind closed doors can be totally inappropriate in public. At the same time, some things are always inappropriate.

Healthy marriages consist of two people who can discern the difference between private things and public things. Oftentimes through failure, happy couples openly communicate about hurts and offenses, learning how to be a better spouse to one another.

While both sexes can break the rules regarding proper public behavior, men are more prone to make major public gaffs. (See: 5 Things Never to Do to Your Husband in Public)

 

Here are 5 things never to do to your wife in public:

1. Mock Her. In private, a couple can softly poke fun at one another in a way that is safe and gentle. In public, it’s not as easy. Husbands must be very careful about using their wives for a cheap laugh. While it’s okay to laugh about events, it’s dangerous to make any joke which can be taken as demeaning or exploitative. More importantly, if a husband makes a joke which hurts the wife she must be willing to say something and he must be willing to listen and never repeat the mistake.

2. Expose Her. In an intimate relationship, two people reveal themselves to one another unlike any other relationship. Wives know things about husbands which no one else knows and vice-versa. Those private revelations should never be made public by the spouse. If my wife wants to reveal something about herself to others, that is her business, but it’s not my story to tell. She should always know her secrets are safe with me. Not only should we not expose her secrets, men should not expose their wives sexually before others. They should value her beauty but not sexualize her before friends or crowds. (See: The Kind of Wife I Want)

3. Ignore Her. If a man has an outgoing personality, it’s easy for him to convince his wife into a public setting only to ignore her while she is there. While a couple should not be expected to spend every second of a public event together, a husband should take special care to make sure his wife is enjoying herself and does not feel abandoned. In some work settings, this is not easily done but the couple should speak beforehand regarding expectations. In public settings, my wife should always be on my radar. She doesn’t always have to be the center of my attention, but I should try to continually stay aware of her well-being.

4. Rebuke Her. Couples disagree. No healthy relationship can exist without healthy disagreement. Spouses should be expected to push back on the ideas and actions of one another. To become who they want to become, they must work together to produce proper attitudes and actions. However, this should happen in private. These conversations are not for public consumption. If it’s not possible to save the discussion for later, a couple should remove themselves from others to engage in the conversation in private. When others are present, we are more likely to worry about public perception and personal reputation rather than listening to one another. (See: I Can Say It and It Won’t Kill Us)

5. Embarrass Her. What I do reflects on my wife’s reputation and standing with others. It isn’t always fair, but it’s life. I never want to embarrass my wife because of my actions. At times this isn’t avoidable–because of my own ignorance–but in most situations if I make wise decisions she will not be embarrassed by me. The most common way I see husbands embarrassing their wives is by losing control of themselves–either because of alcohol or anger. Both strip us of our ability to self-regulate our behavior and leave us open to being out of control. Oftentimes when we lose control, we aren’t aware enough of ourselves to be embarrassed for ourselves so our wives are embarrassed for us. In accidental embarrassments, my wife must be gracious but also willing to tell me what I have done. In all situations, I must ensure that I don’t make her ashamed to be associated with me.

All five of these actions have one thing in common–I want to avoid them because I desire to show my wife respect. To engage in any of these activities is to disrespect the one I should try to honor most. (See: 5 Ways a Husband Respects His Wife)

What would you add as a 6th thing not to do to your wife in public?

 

3 Responses to 5 Things Never to Do to Your Wife in Public
  1. […] a healthy relationship, a wife publicly honors her husband even as he publicly honors her. (See: 5 ... kevinathompson.com/5-things-not-to-do-to-your-husband-in-public
  2. […] Some haven’t found one. They desperately want a meaningful relationship, but everywhere they l... kevinathompson.com/5-things-you-must-know-about-your-man
  3. Kathryn Reply

    I don’t think my husband has done any of these.

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